Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i want to swaddle you in tequila
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
