Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
