Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she peed on how many people?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
