cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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