theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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