imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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