He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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