Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
