Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
