i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
