Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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