after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
