I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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