Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
