I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
