Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And then my night got REAL pukey
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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