Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
