and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
