...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
