We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
