I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
handjob tips. give me some.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
