he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize
