I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I stole a fireplace last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize