I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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