I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
