I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
