ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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