The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
