Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize