I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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