Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
