He kissed a someone with a penis
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
