I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
