Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
