Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
