haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You ruined the universe
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
