why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize