i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
