Apparently you make a good broom.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
