He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
they need to just BURY HIM!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
