All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's official drugs can't kill me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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