then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
