Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
