let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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