Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
