Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Boobs speak an international language.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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