i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
