Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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