After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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