You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
