This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
