If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
