Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
