omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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