Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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