girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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