They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
