i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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