Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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