think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize