Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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