He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
