Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
