he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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