Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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