Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
