Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
