She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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