Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
