oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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