i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
