dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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