Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
