you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
